Thanksgiving Blessings

This year, Thanksgiving falls on November 25. A year ago, November 25 marked the day before Thanksgiving, the day that I brought Mr. AOW home after he had spent ten long weeks in two hospitals and a skilled nursing facility as a result of the brain hemorrhage he suffered on September 15, 2009.

I had to move heaven and earth to get Mr. AOW released from that nursing home. And life in this household was difficult in the extreme for the next several months. If not for The Merry Widow, who came up for six weeks to help us, I think that I would have collapsed from sheer exhaustion.

Yes, Mr. AOW has made phenomenal progress. Our living room is less like a hospital room now although we still have the hospital bed and the bedside potty chair in place. Mr. AOW simply cannot get out of bed without lift assistance, nor can he make the trek to our bathroom in time. Our new normal certainly is much unlike our previous normal. The isolation problem continues for both Mr. AOW and me.

As I think back to a year ago, however, I realize that I can count many blessings, only a few of which you can find listed below:

1. Mr. AOW is no longer incontinent. No more five loads of laundry a day! And let me tell you that I simply cannot handle "heavy" diaper changes well at all. I literally don't have the stomach for it.

2. Both of us get a full night's sleep every night since August.

3. Mr. AOW can use his cell phone with consistency and accuracy. Furthermore, his speech issues have resolved.

4. Mr. AOW can travel! Provided that he has assistance, particularly with getting his affected left leg inside the vehicle, he can get into and out of the car.

5. Eating across the table from Mr. AOW is no longer a nasty experience. He has certainly learned to use his one good hand, not his dominant hand taken way by the stroke, to feed himself without slopping up the entire eating space.

6. Mr. AOW is no longer a Weeble that falls down. In fact, these past few months, Mr. AOW has almost completely regained sitting balance and is getting close to achieving perfect standing balance. Balance is a big thing! It allows for him to do his own own scrubbing in the shower once I get him in there and turn on the water.

7. Mr. AOW's thinking processes and memory skills are his original normal. For example, if I need to fix a little something on the car, he can tell me how to accomplish the task, no matter how many steps are involved.

Certainly, Mr. AOW and I were thankful last Thanksgiving when he came home after those long ten weeks. During that time and the hardest days following his return home, we learned just how much we love each other. After over three decades of marriage, we had been taking each other for granted. We take nothing for granted now.

Mr. AOW and I are even more thankful this Thanksgiving as we count our many blessings from the Lord. We await more of His blessings.

A blessed Thanksgiving to all who stop by this site. And may you count your blessings! Believe me, even during the most trying of times, we truly do have bountiful blessings.

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Update On Mr. AOW: Wonderful News! At Last!

After being off his feet for nearly a year following a plum-sized brain hemorrhage on September 15, 2009, and after all that time of acute and sub-acute physical therapy (still ongoing), Mr. AOW is up and walking with a quad cane!

Mr. AOW cannot yet walk without physical and tactile cues from me or the therapists. The walking consists of halting steps, and he tires easily. But my husband is walking at last!

I have to practice with him every day for at least the next three weeks so that he can further develop the muscle memory required for walking. Daily practice is critical!


My getting Mr. AOW ready to walk takes a lot of time: $100 hemisling on the left arm, $1600 AFO brace on the left leg (Pictured left. What a job getting that thing inside a shoe and all strapped up!), Ritalin, Baclofen, and Starbuck's caffeine aboard so that he can be alert enough to follow the necessary procedure. Also, I have to enlist a "safety net," meaning that another person has to be present so as to have the wheelchair behind Mr. AOW in case he starts to topple over. His sense of balance isn't perfect.

Oh, and another bit of good news....Mr. AOW has had one full week of dry nights! The washing machine is finally getting a rest. I think that the day will soon come that Mr. AOW can stop having to sleep in that hospital bed in the living room.

Blogging, including making blog rounds, is taking a back seat right now, but I will continue to post when I find time and (Gasp!) tweet news stories and commentaries. I will also continue to host The Gathering Storm Radio Show every Friday.

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Shopping Adventures With Mr. AOW

(For any readers who may not already know, Mr. AOW had a brain hemorrhage on September 15, 2009. Previous posts about Mr. AOW's stroke and his struggle to recover are HERE)

Every Monday after the neuro-therapy session, I have taken Mr. AOW grocery shopping in one of our newest and biggest grocery stores near our home. Mr. AOW loves to go shopping in this particular grocery store because he gets to use an electric shopping cart much like the one pictured in this post. I transfer Mr. AOW from the car into the transport chair, a small wheelchair I carry in the trunk of my Hyundai Elantra, push him into the store, then tranfer him into the electric shopping cart. Such carts have hand controls, and even though Mr. AOW has the use of only his right hand, with all his background in riding motorcyles, he can operate the cart just fine.

Most of the time.

The problem? Left neglect:

Neglect is a syndrome in which the patient fails to recognize one side of the body and the environmental space surrounding this side of the body...Neglect is considered a deficit in directed attention....

I first began taking Mr. AOW on those Monday shopping trips on July 19. The first time, I stayed with him all the time and prevent him from taking out shopping displays on his left side. I'm ever the teacher, I suppose, and I've done enough research to know that left neglect will improve over time with sufficient practice. Furthermore, if Mr. AOW is ever going to be able to operate an electric wheelchair with safety, the issue of his left neglect has to be minimal.

In all honesty, my having to correct Mr. AOW before he made any driving errors occurred only rarely during that first shopping trip on July 19, so on the second shopping trip a week later, I let him begin shopping on his own while I took the transport chair back to the car. When I returned to the store to chaperone Mr. AOW's driving, I heard a big clatter: Mr. AOW had taken out the weighing scale in the produce department. Store personnel came running, shouting, "Are you hurt, sir?" You see, this particular store is located in an elite area where many lawyers live and shop, and the customer can do no wrong. Therefore, there are no recriminations when Mr. AOW makes a mistake with his driving.

On our third shopping trip on August 2, we had quite an adventure! This time, Mr. AOW insisted that I transfer him to the electric shopping cart in the foyer of the store, thus requiring him to go through the store's doors on his own while I took the transport chair back to the car. When I returned to the store, what did I see? All the hand baskets sitting on the left side of the door were toppled over, and Mr. AOW was nowhere to be seen; he had hit and run. I had to smile, particularly as I heard the store's loud speaker blare, "Service personnel to the front door."

The August 2 shopping trip was a big shop, and we had the basket at the front of the electric shopping cart filled to capacity – and then some. As we were getting ready to head for check-out, I noticed a pained expression on Mr. AOW's face. "Do you have to go to the bathroom?" I asked. He nodded, and I nearly had a meltdown. How would he get that electric shopping cart into the restroom?

We headed to the restroom area. Mr. AOW had to navigate rows and rows of wine bottles. I cringed, but he made it without incident and reached the restrooms. No way to get that cart into the bathrooms!

I looked across the hall and spotted the employees' lounge. More importantly, I saw a rolling office chair – one without arm rests. I said a quick prayer that Mr. AOW's sense of balance would be good enough for him to stay on that chair while I rolled it into the bathroom.

We made it! Oh, it was dicey. Mr. AOW had to pull forward with his right leg while I pulled his useless left leg forward. But we made it and with time to spare!

At that point, solicitous store personnel were hovering around to see if they could help and to make sure that Mr. AOW didn't get hurt. Meanwhile, I was concerned about another matter. How were we going to get the electric shopping cart dislodged from the restroom area? That cart was wedged in!

I boarded the cart, which won't operate unless someone is seated therein, and tried to move it. Unfortunately, I know only two speeds for that cart: full throttle or stop.

Of necessity, I had to back up the cart to get it back into the shopping area of the store. "Beep, beep, beep!" went the loud back-up alarm. But I couldn't go very far. I slammed into the water fountain, setting off a geyser of water. I'd go forward and slam into the wall. Back again, "Beep, beep, beep!" and another water geyser. More store personnel hovering, none of whom knew how to drive the cart. Never mind that the store was freezing cold, I was sweating bullets by now!

Finally, I gave up and retrieved Mr. AOW from the rest room, with him pulling forward with his right leg and me pulling forward his left leg. I transferred him back into the electric shopping cart. He maneuvered the cart out of the restroom area with no trouble at all! Back we went through the rows of wine bottles and to the check-out stand.

Our fourth foray to the same grocery store is scheduled for Monday, August 9. I'm sure that the store personnel will be pleased to see us again.

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Abandonment And Loneliness

For the first time ever in our thirty-eight years of marriage, Mr. AOW and I stayed home for Independence Day evening. We did go to church in the morning for the patriotic service, moving beyond words. Mr. AOW and I were tearful during nearly the entire service as both of us are so concerned about the direction in which America is going today and, at the same time, moved by how the service honored our military and our nation's Founding principles.

So, what made yesterday so lonely?

Not a single friend invited us out for evening fireworks. We DO have evening fireworks very close by. But nobody bothered helping us, and I can't physically push Mr. AOW's wheelchair up the slight incline to the vantage point.

In fact, not a single friend or family member phoned us yesterday with wishes for the day. Of the many emotions that Mr. AOW and I go through these days, bitterness is one of those emotions.

One neighbor DID stop by and drop off some homemade peach cobbler. What's July 4th without pie? Heh.

Abandonment and loneliness sometimes overwhelm Mr. AOW and me, as do the many losses. However, we're making the best we can of the situation in which we have found ourselves trapped for nearly the past ten months.

Anyway, Mr. AOW and I spent the evening of July 4, 2010, at home and watched A Capitol Fourth on PBS television. We've never gone to the National Mall for Independence Day, and now it looks as if we never will. A sad realization.

Although life now offers us few pleasures now, Mr. AOW and I count our blessings that we are still able to enjoy each other's company. The stroke Mr. AOW had last September was a very close call, and he's still a long way from a satisfactory recovery.

Today, it's back to the grind: neuro-therapy for Mr. AOW to endure and tutoring for me to do.

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Update On Mr. AOW

(Click directly on the image to enlarge it)

I often have to remind myself that Mr. AOW has greatly improved since his right-side thalamic hemorrhage (size 3.5 cm x 3.9 cm, the size of a small plum) resulting from high blood pressure. The hemorrhage was so large that the intensive-care doctors sent me home the afternoon of the stroke to get the advance medical directives to file with them.

Please see this post of February 1, 2010, to understand just how difficult the situation for months on end.

Of course, early on, the situation was unmanageable here at home: Mr. AOW couldn't swallow solid food and couldn't sit up at all; he was also incontinent. As a result of all his deficits, he spent a total of ten weeks in various medical-care facilities. Getting him out of that nursing home required the threat of litigation!

Continue reading below the fold.

Once Mr. AOW returned home on November 25, there were five months of assisting a 190-pound man with every potty-chair transfer! Until one blessed day, when I returned home from giving a tutoring session, I found Mr. AOW sitting up on the side of the bed and grinning at his success in making the transfer to and fro all by himself.

These potty-chair transfers on his own haven’t always been successful, however. On one occasion not so long ago, Mr. AOW slipped and banged himself up pretty good in attempting to get back to the bed – not to mention overturning the potty chair. Fortunately, Mr. AOW wasn’t significantly injured and the homeschool ladies arrived just a few minutes later: with their assistance and the assistance of Mr. AOW’s stepfather, getting safely up off the floor was accomplished. Since that nasty event, Mr. AOW is wary of potty-chair transfers on his own, as well he should be. We have found that wearing a non-slip footie or a shoe on the affected foot minimizes the precariousness of transfers.

I do still get up at least once during the night to empty Mr. AOW's bedside urinals and, sometimes, for a bed change. Not getting an uninterrupted night's sleep every single night takes its toll on me. I do try to make up for lost sleep by hitting the sack earlier than I did before Mr. AOW had a stroke.

More on Mr. AOW's situation now, some nine months post-stroke:

Mr. AOW still cannot walk and spends his days and nights at home in a hospital bed in the living room. But he is starting to be able to stand! Standing balance is essential to his relearning the neurologically-complex skill of walking.

After nearly five months of home therapy and maxing out that particular benefit provided by the health-insurance plan, we now venture out of the house to a particular hospital which offers neuro-therapy. The sessions are two hours in length and grueling. The therapists remain certain that Mr. AOW will improve even more, particularly because his left side (leg and arm) show no signs of atrophy, meaning that the signals from the brain are getting through to the muscles even if Mr. AOW cannot yet use those muscles consistently. On the negative side, Mr. AOW's left hand does suffer from contracture. The stroke began in the hand, so the hand may be the spot of permanent dysfunction. As Mr. AOW is left-handed, this lack of function of the left hand causes him significant distress.

Because Mr. AOW's left hand and arm don't function, his managing the hand-held urinals present problems with spillage. The episodes of spillage are less frequent now, though. Therefore, I actually have the occasional day of doing no laundry. Woohoo!

Mr. AOW's attitude is beyond excellent! He remains committed to trying to get better. Also, he continues to practice the exercises assigned by the therapists, and his appetite is good – too good, in fact. I have to watch his caloric intake so as to prevent any more weight gain.

Mr. AOW continues to require maximum assistance with showers. In fact, this task requires another person besides myself to get him to and from the bathroom, several rooms away and safely in and out of the shower. A loyal friend and I wheel him into the bathroom in the transport chair; next, with assistance from me, he transfers onto the commode (lid down), then onto the shower chair, at which point I have to lift his left leg into the bathtub so that I can turn on the shower head and scrub him down.

I use this same chair, much lighter in weight than a standard wheelchair, to take Mr. AOW down the ramp and to the car. Occasionally, we do hire the expensive handicapped taxi to take Mr. AOW to a place where he wants to get around by himself, such as the shopping mall or the local VFW. Because he has left neglect, Mr. AOW cannot travel unsupervised – even up and down our residential street. For example, on one little trip down the street on his own, Mr. AOW forgot to look to his left side and ended up in the muddy ditch.

This left neglect also means that Mr. AOW will likely never drive again. Fortunately, this possibility doesn't weigh on his mind too much as those with right-side strokes tend to have a rosy outlook on life in general. Still, Mr. AOW does miss driving the Mustang convertible (pictured left in better days). In fact, the car is presently sidelined; shortly, we'll have it flatbedded out and get an estimate to see if it's repairable. Looking back, Mr. AOW and I now realize that some of the damage incurred to the Mustang last summer was the result of his having mini-hemorrhages as he cannot clearly recall the episodes that resulted in damage to the vehicle.

Getting Mr. AOW ready to go out anywhere is a Herculean task! In addition to tending to bathrooming, he cannot yet completely dress himself. The occupational therapist is working on the skill of getting dressed despite hemiplegia. Because Mr. AOW cannot travel from room to room inside the house, everything has to be brought to him: food, drink, toiletries, clothing, toothbrush and toothpaste, etc. I must walk miles every day inside this house!

Psychologically, the biggest problem for Mr. AOW is the lack of friends coming to visit. We have a lot of used-to-be friends. Conversely, we have discovered who our real friends are; see THIS about what a family of my former clients did for us and THIS about The Merry Widow, for example. We have also discovered just how loyal our friends at the VFW are; in addition to our local VFW's building the wheelchair ramp here at our house so that I could bring Mr. AOW home, once or twice a month, one of the VFW members will stop by to take Mr. AOW out for the evening. I stay home and nap while Mr. AOW goes out on his male-bonding outings.

A year ago, when Mr. AOW and I celebrated our thirty-seventh anniversary in our usual carefree manner, we had no idea how much life could change in one short year. At the age of fifty-nine, just an hour after finishing a shift at work, he was catapulted into an unforeseen lifestyle. As I draft this posting, the man who led a full and active life on September 14 is sitting on the front porch in his transport chair and tossing bits of bread to the birds.

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Blog News: Mr. AOW

Several friends and frequenters of this web site and of The Gathering Storm Radio Show have been asking me how Mr. AOW is doing with his recovery from his brain hemorrhage of September 15.

Thank you for your interest and concern!

I have shared some snippets about Mr. AOW's present condition here and there in comments. However, because of work obligations and caregiving burdens, I have not formally posted on the topic since March 29.


Now that classes for this school term have concluded, I am working on a post detailing the situation here in this household. I plan to post the update this week.

For now, let me say that Mr. AOW and I are going through the most difficult time of our lives together. Indeed, a year ago, when we celebrated our thirty-seventh wedding anniversary on June 17, 2009, little did we know the situation we would be facing a mere three months later when Mr. AOW suffered his stroke.

The life we are living now is not the life we had planned.

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Two Requests Of My Readers

I. Mr. AOW, recovering at home from his stroke of September 15, 2009, is an avid collector of jokes and is looking for new material, particularly jokes he can read to his family and friends over the phone. He also likes pictorial jokes to add to his collection.

Mr. AOW is an equal-opportunity humorist. In other words, he satirizes everybody.

He especially loves one-liners and other short jokes!

If you have some good jokes to share, please send them to me. My email address toward the top of the sidebar.

You are also welcome to add your jokes in comments here, provided that the jokes are not "too tasteless" (whatever that means).


II. Another topic now....At the suggestion of my friend GM Roper, my webmaster Warren has added a tips button to my sidebar. All donations will be used to defray Mr. AOW's astronomical medical expenses. Mr. AOW does have health insurance, but the policy is one of a high deductible and very limited pharmacy coverage. Mr. AOW is still awaiting any payment from Social Security Disability. We hate asking for money, but at this point, pride is taking a back seat. Stroke has a way of making pride vanish.

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The Issue Largely Ignored By Both Left And Right

(Click directly on the image below to enlarge it)


Part One of the video footage:



Additional video forthcoming.

Personally, I am particularly looking forward to the video of the speech by Simon Deng, whose speech was so riveting that I could barely take notes. Until the video is available, please read this 2005 speech by Simon Deng so as to get an idea of what he had to say.

Read a little bit about my time at FDI below the fold....
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Last Friday, February 19, 2010, I managed to attend the launch of the Freedom Defense Initiative at CPAC 2010, but find that I don't have time to do my own write-up, other than to say that I managed to run into and converse with Culturist John. Later in the day, I sat down over lunch for a few minutes with Pamela Geller and Robert Spencer before having to head for home to help TMW tend to Mr. AOW, who was not having a good day. TMW was going to attend the event with me, but decided to stay home with Mr. AOW. And it's a good thing she did!

This article at NewsReal (via this posting at Jihad Watch) provides a good summary of the event.

Additional reading on the Freedom Defense Initiative

And Atlas Shrugs has lots of photos.

Of course, my having a day out on Friday, followed one day later by another day out (this second time with both Mr. AOW and TMW to visit the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History, where we explored this exhibit of blue diamonds), means that I have some catch-up to do here at home and with grading papers. Blogging and making blog rounds will be catch-as-catch-can for a few days.

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Joe Biden's Brain

Joe Biden does say the most outrageous things. For example, see this post and this post at Infidel Bloggers Alliance.

Now, check out the some information about confabulation:

From Wiki:

In psychology, Confabulation is the spontaneous narrative report of events that never happened. It consists usually of the creation of false memories, perceptions, or beliefs about the self or the environment as a result of neurological or psychological dysfunction. When it is a matter of memory, confabulation is the confusion of imagination with memory, or the confused application of true memories. Confabulations are difficult to differentiate from delusions and from lying.

[...]

Patients who have suffered brain damage or lesions, especially to the prefrontal cortical regions, may have confabulation of memories as a symptom.

Biden has undergone two surgeries for brain aneurysms.

I know a bit about confabulation because Mr. AOW's stroke on the right side of the brain produces confabulation to a certain extent.

Furthermore, because of this confabulation, Mr. AOW has been deemed legally incompetent.

The right side of the brain produces confabulations under certain conditions and can produce ideas of euphoria, despite real threats to one's well being.

Now, tell me again, why is Biden a heartbeat away from the Presidency?

Note to readers: In between shifts of shoveling out from the last snowfall here, I've been having a posting frenzy. Please scroll down to check out other postings. Plenty to weigh in on!

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A Day In The Life...

(Note: All posts related to Mr. AOW's stroke of September 15, 2009, and his recovery are HERE)

...at the AOWs' house.

A 4:30 am potty chair call, pee bottle dropped (in the bed), visits from physical therapist and occupational therapist, treading 10 steps down to cellar (where the washer & dryer reside) to do up to 3-4 loads at a time, hauling man in wheelchair to doctor (and other places), sweeping snow from the wheelchair ramp, cooking, learning to drive in a new area (near DC), cleaning and organizing cupboards, doing dishes by hand, scolding Cameo to keep her out of the Dusti's and Mysti's food dishes.

I'M HAVING A BLAST!

Am I a masochist?

Note to readers from AOW: This post was written by The Merry Widow, who arrived here from Florida on January 13 on her mission of mercy. She's not exaggerating in the least about the routine here! We do get the occasional break in routine. See The Beak's posting about his visit here on January 31. For this outing, The Beak did all the heavy lifting and the pushing of the transport chair, thus giving TMW and me some respite for our aching backs.

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When Friends Step Up: Part Two

(Note to family and friends: The most recent update on Mr. AOW is here, updated December 12. Also see this post, part one of "When Friends Step Up").

Wednesday evening, The Merry Widow arrives here to help me with caring for Mr. AOW.

Her post about the matter is HERE. Please read that post before continuing reading below the fold so as to get an idea as to why I need help.
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Caregiving a spouse and working part-time outside the home have exhausted me to the bone!

Unless you've been a caregiver for someone who is bedfast, as Mr. AOW is, you may not fully understand the all-consuming vortex of tending a loved one. Take my word for it: caregiving takes over your life in ways you never thought possible. Forget about having enough energy even to read the newspaper every day.

I'd straighten up the house in preparation for TMW's arrival. But I'm too exhausted to take on the task! I will manage to have fresh sheets and a clean bedspread on the bed and clean towels for the bathroom. That's the extent of what I'm capable of getting done right now.

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Our Health-Care System And The Nanny State

(Note to family and friends: The most recent update on Mr. AOW is here, updated December 12. Also see this post).

The essay below relates an aspect of my personal experience in dealing with our health-care system when Mr. AOW had a serious stroke last fall. He remained in medical-care facilities from September 15 to November 25.
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No doubt about it, when Mr. AOW was released from the inpatient hospital stroke rehabilitation center on October 16, he was unable to be cared for at home. In addition to being completely paralyzed on the left side (limbs and trunk), his sense of balance was completely awry: he could fall forward, backward, or to either side at any given moment. His brain didn't know what direction up was! He also suffered from mental confusion. For example, he said, "I know I'm in the hospital here in Virginia, but I feel like I'm in California."

In fact, in spite of the ninety days of coverage supposedly provided by the health-insurance plan the hospital refused to keep Mr. AOW any longer than two weeks or to release him to home. Instead, the hospital and the nursing home teamed up to release him only to a skilled nursing facility, which costs a minimum of $350 per day.

At both the rehab hospital and the nursing home, both of which were in-network facilities of Mr. AOW's health-insurance plan, I was repeatedly advised to obtain Medicare and Medicaid. This mandate, in spite of the fact that Mr. AOW was not eligible for Medicare at the age of fifty-nine and has always had health insurance for, lo, three decades!

When I pointed out to the hospital and the nursing home that Mr. AOW and I had too many assets to qualify for either Medicare or Medicaid, I was advised to liquidate all those assets that Mr. AOW and I had spent a lifetime accumulating, go bankrupt once those assets were consumed by medical care, and become beneficiaries of the Nanny State. By the way, all assets were on the table, including retirement accounts (IRA's).

Looking back, I realize that both the hospital and the nursing home anticipated that Mr. AOW would always be a resident of the nursing home, never mind that he was admitted there for stroke therapy and not as a long-term resident.

After Mr. AOW made substantial progress after several weeks in the nursing home, the day arrived when I informed the health-insurance company and the nursing home that I would be bringing Mr. AOW home in a few weeks. The representative from the health-insurance company again advised me to seek out Medicaid coverage. Talk about having their needle stuck!

Once we established that Medicaid was not an option and that I was indeed determined to bring Mr. AOW home, I was threatened: "We'll have to report you to adult protective services."

So, how did I bring Mr. AOW home without getting arrested? I had in place the necessary paperwork: complete power of attorney and the advanced medical directive, both of which documents gave me conseiderable legal power. I also had on my side our family physician, who was willing to sign the release orders. This last is very important! Had I not placed Mr. AOW under the care of the family physician, the nursing-home physician could have refused to release Mr. AOW, thus forcing us into bankruptcy.

Also of help was a bit of name dropping, specifically, the name of my husband's personal attorney, famous as "the attorney of attorneys." Were he called in, he would own the nursing home by the time he was finished! At that point, the nursing home, recognizing the kind of legal proceedings they could be up against, agreed to starting the necessary paperwork for Mr. AOW's release from the nursing home. The one requirement: that Mr. AOW receive occasional visits from a registered nurse.

I have learned there is some truth in what some of my older relatives used to say: "Once I go into the hospital, I'll never come back home." Hospitals and nursing homes do have the power to hold patients and their families hostage.

Via the necessary legal documents and before illness strikes, arm yourself in advance so that you don't become a victim of the health-care system's trying to push you and your family under the care of the Nanny State. Believe me, the health-care system will try hard to push you in that direction!

And what would have happened under ObamaKare?

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Major Snowstorm!

(Note to family and friends: The most recent update on Mr. AOW is here, updated December 12. Also see this post).

Unlike so often, the weatherman appears to have gotten this forecast correct. We are under a blizzard warning until tomorrow morning with this classic Nor'easter slamming the D.C. area.

This storm could well set a record for December snowfall in the area!

So far, here at this house, we have a full six inches, possibly eight since the last time I ventured out the door to sweep off the front porch. Because of the direction the snow is blowing, the front porch was covered all the way up to the front door.

Yesterday, all the grocery stores were madhouses as I discovered to my regret when I had to go to the nearest grocery-pharmacy to pick up Mr. AOW's eye drops.

In the past, I've ridiculed Washingtonians' love-hate relationship with snow. This time, however, people were wise to stock up. A few days may pass before the streets are fully navigable.

My biggest concern is losing electricity with the winds expected to kick up later today even as the heaviest snowfall moves in and blizzard conditions ensue.

A friend has called to tell us, "I'll be over on Sunday to shovel off the wheelchair ramp." In that case, we won't be isolated for long.

Here's to hoping that I don't have to move Mr. AOW's hospital bed across the room so as to start a fire in the fireplace!

Note: Please scroll down for the weekend-humor post.

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When Friends Step Up

(Note to family and friends: The most recent update on Mr. AOW's recovery from the stroke he had on September 15 is here)

We had a special Christmas blessing Saturday evening when one of my former clients stopped by with her family.

They brought four meals of "soul food": fried catfish, fried chicken, mac and cheese, cornbread, greens, cabbage, rice, and green beans. Mr. AOW and I feasted and, bellies full, fell asleep early.

But the food wasn't the best part of the visit.
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This dear family also brought in Christmas decorations and decked out our living room. We have a tabletop fiber-optic tree and lighted garland over the mantel. Now when Mr. AOW looks around the room, it's festive for this Christmas season. Having proper Christmas lights means a great deal to Mr. AOW.

Our visitors also brought stockings stuffed with gift cards for grocery stores and take-out food.

In addition to the above, we were presented with a certificate for a laundry service which picks up the dirty linens and clothes and returns same a day later! I now see some respite from all the loads of laundry I've been doing since Mr. AOW returned home on November 25.

Saturday night was Christmas morning two weeks early!

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Mr. AOW Is Coming Home!

(This post stuck here a few days. Please scroll down)

Previous posts about Mr. AOW's stroke of September 15 are here, here, here, here, and here.



After ten long weeks!

Mr. AOW and I know that we have a lot of difficult times ahead of us. We must keep in mind how bad off he was just a month ago, when he couldn't sit up or swallow thin liquids or even consistently know where he was. Both of us would like for recovery to be more rapid. We'll just have to be patient and persistent in our efforts.
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Our living room has been converted into a sick room, complete with a hospital bed expected to arrive this week. Everything else is in place. And Mr. AOW is on fewer medications now than before the stroke!

For the past several days, I've been receiving training at the nursing home, especially as to how to transfer Mr. AOW from wheelchair to bed and vice versa. I use a gait belt, and my weak back is surviving the physical strain without frequent changes in my medication.

Transferring in and out of the car is well nigh impossible for the two of us to accomplish at this point, so we'll be relying on handicapped taxi and other similar services to go on outings, including but not limited to doctors' appointments. Mr. AOW needs to know that there is indeed a world outside a medical-care facility! It's so very easy for a patient and the family to get sucked into the vortex of a medical-care facility. Talk about another reality and disorientation, particularly in a nursing home!

The doctor expects that Mr. AOW will walk again, but "not for a long time." At this point, Mr. AOW is doing special exercises to recover sitting and standing balance, the steps necessary before walking upright. The recovery of use of the left arm and hand is less certain but not impossible. The stroke began in the hand, so the hand would be last to recover.

Both Mr. AOW and I are so grateful for the excellent care he received while in the nursing home! I fought to get that facility for his care, and my efforts paid off. I even fought with the nursing home as to getting him released: having power of attorney and advanced medical directive in place prevented the health-insurance company and the nursing home from forcing us to keep him there as a long-term care resident. A word to the wise: take care of getting those papers in place before the unexpected illness strikes.

We are trying to get into place some services from a home health care agency. Mr. AOW still needs more therapy and an occasional checkup from an RN.

He is worried that he'll have to stay alone, trapped in the living room while I'm at work Tuesdays through Thursdays. One of my friends will do tactile-sequencing therapy every Thursday, but I need to get the other two days covered with regard to checking on Mr. AOW's status and giving him his lunch.

The doctor does expect that Mr. AOW will sleep a lot. The brain needs that sleep for rewiring.

The past ten weeks have seemed like a lifetime for both of us.

Life is good! My husband is coming home in time for Thanksgiving!

Update on November 27 @ 6:00 AM

Yesterday, I wheeled Mr. AOW four doors down our street for our traditional Thanksgiving feast with our dearest neighbors. The folks there lifted Mr. AOW and transport chair up the few steps and into the house. For the first time in over ten weeks, Mr. AOW sat at a formal table and ate a formal meal, complete with china, crystal, and silver flatware. He was able to participate in some of the table conversation without going off track and cracking unrelated joke after joke.

I cannot express how much being able to take part in yesterday's Thanksgiving dinner meant to both of us!

I admit it. I cried afterwards, as did Mr. AOW. For weeks, we thought that a day such as yesterday would never come again.

Both of us slept like logs last night. His first night home, neither Mr. AOW nor I got much sleep.

As for Mr. AOW's recovery, the nursing home and the health-insurance company dropped the ball, and we have no home health care coming in until Sunday, if then. An RN is supposed to pay a visit to check Mr. AOW's vital signs. I'm glad that I had the foresight to buy a glucose meter and a blood pressure cuff. So far, so good.

I will need to venture out today on "Black Friday" [Ugh!] to buy a new arm sling. The sling we were using broke yesterday in one of our struggles from commode chair to bed.

I will also need to call the medical-supply company to come to the house to repair the hospital bed. The part which raises the foot of the bed quit working within a few hours of Mr. AOW's arrival home. **sigh**

Update on November 30 @ 3:37PM

The home health care agency has begun doing evaluation visits. Yesterday, the registered nurse came, today the occupational therapist. The latter is going to focus on the arm and hand. At long last! Previously, therapists have ignored the arm and hand! The physical therapist is due to come on board soon. Once all the therapists are in place, Mr. AOW won't be home alone so much. That coverage will come as a blessed relief.

Also today, thanks to information from one of my homeschool clients, I've found a nearby, just-opened pharmacy which delivers and specializes in home care. This pharmacy carries most of the supportive medical supplies we need, and I've established contact there.

To be honest, the past five days have been exhausting and an emotional roller coaster for both Mr. AOW and me. The biggest stress for both of us is the bathrooming, resulting in the constant humming of washer and dryer. One of my homeschool clients has graciously offered to get us two more sheet sets so that my back can get some rest from the constant treading up and down the stairs to and from the laundry room.

Update on December 7 @ 9:09 AM:

Although I'm still exhausted, Mr. AOW and I are getting into a better routine now. Mr. AOW is also getting stronger, i.e., showing more use of the left leg and having less pain from muscle spasms in both the arm and the leg.

Best of all as far as I'm concerned, bathrooming skills are coming back on board.

Mr. AOW didn't get his outing yesterday to watch the Redskins vs. Saints football game at our local VFW because of the snowfall on Saturday. The ramp was simply too treacherous until late in the day.

One of my former clients stopped by yesterday afternoon and brought us some banana-nut cake as well as some groceries I requested. After shoveling off the ramp and cleaning off the cars, I was too exhausted to venture out to the grocery store.

One matter of great concern: Mr. AOW's blood pressure has started running too high. This morning the top number was 190! I am now waiting for a call back from the family doctor to see if these medications can be tweaked. When Mr. AOW first came home, his blood pressure was under control better than it is now.

Update on December 12 @ 5:30 AM:

On Monday, following my phone call, the family doctor prescribed an additional medication for blood pressure. Mr. AOW's blood pressure is now under control! His pressure was running dangerously close to stroke level, but no more. We are grateful to have an excellent, long-standing family doctor who responds immediately to our calls for help!

Mr. AOW had a breakthrough session with the PT fellow on Thursday and was able to sit unsupported on the edge of the bed for thirty minutes. He also was able to stand with a quad cane, shift weight to the left leg, and keep his balance. These achievements were very emotional for him, and he teared up with tears of joy. Maintaining standing balance with the dangling left arm is difficult but not impossible if the left arm is cradled in a sling. Walking is a complex neurological process, but a few shuffling steps are on the horizon. Once those shuffling steps take place, Mr. AOW can get into the shower chair.

Bathrooming bedside is still an issue. I'll spare readers the details. Suffice it to say that the Brat Diet was necessary because the washer and dryer were running overtime. One of my clients will be bringing yet another set of sheets today so that I have a supply of clean sheets for quick bed changes. I've had a few meltdowns myself in the wee hours of the morning when I've had to do load after load of laundry just to keep up with decent hygiene.

Mr. AOW has some vision issues. On Tuesday, December 15, we'll venture out to the ophthalmologist via handicapped taxi. Mr. AOW is long overdue now for another glaucoma check.

Mr. AOW is staying awake a lot more now. He is getting stronger! He still has some difficulty knowing what day of the week it is; once he sleeps for a while, he awakes thinking it is the next day. His alertness and cognizance have improved enough now for him to play along with various game shows on the Game Show Network, Mr. AOW's favorite TV channel.

Today, one of my former clients is coming over: fried chicken with sides and a fiber-optic Christmas tree for the end table. Mr. AOW has insisted on our having some kind of Christmas tree with lights here in the living room. We don't have room for our usual big tree trimmed with all the many ornaments we've accumulated over the years. Of course, this year I won't be hosting the annual Christmas Eve family buffet and sing-a-long. Weather permitting, Mr. AOW and I will go to a cousin's house for Christmas Eve and our neighbors' house for Christmas dinner.

Mr. AOW's biggest psychological problem: almost all of his friends neither call nor visit. Both he and I are disgusted with their lack of attention. He and I were always "there" for them!

Turn the page ....

Another Update On Mr. AOW (Updated Intermittently)

Previous posts about Mr. AOW's stroke of September 15 are here, here, here, and here. Please scroll down for political postings.

Yesterday, several members of our local VFW donated their time and labor to construct a ramp so that, when the time arrives for Mr. AOW to leave the nursing home, he can get into our house. The neighbors on my street gawked, but not a single one came over to ask what was going on or to help.

The ramp-building party began around 9:00 AM and ended at dusk. The ramp is all but complete, with only the bottom platform needing some buiding up.

I don't know what Mr. AOW and I would have done without all these volunteers from the VFW!

While the ramp was being constructed, a woman from the VFW and one of my homeschool families came over and helped me move furniture upstairs and from room to room so as to clear the living room to make room for the hospital bed. My house echoes now, and the cats are in shock!

During the day yesterday, one of the certified nursing assistants at the nursing home helped me get Mr. AOW into my car, and Mr. AOW and I went out for a drive I brought him here to the house to see the ramp and talk with his friends. Then, we drove about ten down the road to visit some other friends. Mr. AOW did show momentary confusion during the trip at one point: "Have we passed the juice machine yet?" In just a few short weeks, he's already so confused that he thinks that when he's moving, he must be going down the nursing home's hallway to the juice machine.

As the family doctor and I discussed on Friday morning, Mr. AOW needs to get out of that nursing home the moment that the therapists deem that he's ready to cope at home. I will, of course, be getting the assistance of a home healthcare agency when Mr. AOW comes home.

Until Mr. AOW is released from the nursing home, I will be taking him for non-medical outings as often as possible so that he can "transition" without too much confusion. I am hoping and praying that, once he gets home, he'll become reoriented. We've lived in our home for over thirty-seven years.

Update added November 13 @ 6:15 AM:

Mr. AOW is regaining some control over the left side of his body. If someone helps him to come to a sitting position on the side of the bed, he can maintain that sitting position for a few minutes without toppling over. He is able to maneuver his left leg somewhat in a reclining or a sitting position. Swallowing is greatly improved, and he's now able to consume thin liquids without choking. Unfortunately, the left arm and hand remain paralyzed, but some sensation is returning ever so slowly; the point of permanent paralysis may well be the left arm and hand as the stroke began in his hand.

His vision and mental has improved such that he now is able to keep his cell phone with him in the nursing home. He now can phone friends and family with some accuracy and is able to keep track of the phone.

Mr. AOW is becoming eager to return home! We still don't have a definite release date, however. Early this morning, I left a voice mail with the administration of the nursing home so as to find out when the hospital bed and wheelchair for home should be delivered. I'm still working on devising a proper street-level landing for the wheelchair ramp built last weekend.

I don't want to be caught short with the nursing home's release process because, once the health-insurance company ceases payments for the nursing home, I have a mere twenty-four hours for discharge or start paying $350 a day! That money is better spent for home-care items, including prescriptions. Mr. AOW's prescription coverage on his private policy is minimal ($1500 maximum benefit per calendar year).

The rainy weather we're having the past few days prevents my checking Mr. AOW out of the nursing home for outings. **sigh**

Update added November 18 @ 6:30 AM:

I added some of this update to my post "Islam and the Right."

Yesterday Mr. AOW said to me, "I wish that somebody besides you would come to see me." So many of his friends have peeled off in the last 9 weeks. **sigh**

In addition, thanks to BHO visiting Mr. AOW in the nursing home has become problematic. The entrance to Mr. AOW's wing at the facility has been closed because of the "H1N1 epidemic," and one has to walk the long way around - through the hall of the dead and dying, a hall complete with a moaner or two. Mr. AOW also has to navigate that hall to get to the dining room, where all the socials and games are held.

Passing time will be easier for Mr. AOW once he comes home. He'll have the cats for company and his favorite television shows to watch when I'm working. Plus, our house is easier to access.

We're hoping that Mr. AOW's father-in-law will be coming for a visit once Mr. AOW's goes to the nursing home. She's in the final months of Alzheimer's.

I noted yesterday that Mr. AOW's tactile need to be touching something soft at all times has subsided somewhat as the feeling has returned on the paralyzed side of his body.

I also noted yesterday another improvement in Mr. AOW's cognitive ability: he actually phone Hoveround to inquire about an electric wheelchair! He's planning ahead in case his walking ability doesn't return soon enough to help us get him up and down the ramp here at home or doesn't return at all. I know that Mr. AOW actually made the inquiry because the company's representative phoned me later.

One more thing....Mr. AOW phoned me yesterday to get him some take-out food from one of his favorite restaurants. Previous to that phone call yesterday, Mr. AOW had never shown interest in getting some different food besides that I regularly bring him: Boost, yogurt smoothies, treats from home, etc.

Turn the page ....

Another Update On Mr. AOW (Updated Intermittently)

Previous posts about Mr. AOW's stroke of September 15 are here, here and here.

Yesterday's meeting with Mr. AOW's case team was grim. I'll be busy over the next several days with choosing another care facility, the euphemism being "skilled nursing facility." The list I was handed is entitled "Nursing Home List." **sigh**

Click "Turn the page" for additional information.
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During yesterday's meeting, the first words out of the doctor's mouth were "We can't fix what happened." He went on to explain that the primary medical goal is to control Mr. AOW's blood pressure so that he doesn't have another brain bleed. The doctor also stated that Mr. AOW will probably never drive again. This news was devastating for both of us!

At this point, Mr. AOW needs support on all four sides just to stay upright as his brain isn't sure where upright is. Trunk control is inconsistent. The inability to perceive body and head position is also compounded by Mr. AOW's previous brain surgery, lack of muscle control of the eyes, and left neglect. He also needs 50% help to transfer from one surface to another.

Mr. AOW is mentally oriented most of the time although he occasionally "feels" as if he's in California or in one of the outbuildings on our property.

There is no accurate way to predict how much Mr. AOW will recover over the next six months to one year. Therapy (occupational, physical, and speech) is necessary to help the brain rewire as much as possible, so I'm trying to choose a facility which offers the appropriate therapies and has the endorsement of our health-insurance policy.

Under his health-insurance plan, obtained on June 1, Mr. AOW has 60 days of coverage per benefit period for a skilled nursing facility. He will not be entitled to any Medicare coverage until he's been on Social Security Disability for two years. The application for SSDI is in process but delayed until the birth certificate has been obtained.

Mr. AOW will be discharged from acute physical rehabilitation no later than October 20, so we are in a bit of a time crunch with making the choice for the next facility. Sadly, much of the choice isn't mine or my husband's; a lot depends upon which facility is willing to accept him and the insurance plan's coverage.

Prayers appreciated.

Update on October 14 @ 8:57 AM:
I spoke with Mr. AOW by phone last night. His voice and speech were the best I've heard since the stroke! He also told me that he did well with all his therapies yesterday.

Of course, the hospital is no longer considering his progress. Instead, the decision is made to transfer Mr. AOW out, never mind their stated protocol for keeping a patient as along as that patient is making measurable progress.

Mr. AOW is greatly fatigued, normal for post-stroke or after any brain injury. He is focused on his therpies and getting good sleep instead of calling me at all hours.

Update on October 15 @ 7:18 AM:
I will visit Mr. AOW this evening. One of my friends is going with me to show us how to do tactile sequencing.

I myself know how to employ rhythmic writing.

In sum, the plan is to supplement and augment the therapies which Mr. AOW is receiving from the medical community.

Update on October 15 @ 8:55 AM:
Wonderful news!

Mr. AOW has been accepted in the rehab center of my choice! This facility has the exact therapies he needs and is very close to home. And Mr. AOW will recognize the area, too.

He will be transferred to later than Monday.

Update on October 17 @ 4:05 PM:
Mr. AOW has settled in at the new facility. Today, he had physical therapist. The therapist (Usama!) got Mr. AOW up on his feet to take two steps, with help and railings of course. Afterwards, he was exhausted; nevertheless, I took in to the in-facility barber shop for a haircut and a beard trim. He'll sleep until dinner time, about two hours from now.

Instead of minced food and thickened drinks, Mr. AOW is now consuming normal food and beverages most of the time. He does have to be careful when he swallows.

Tonight, I will take to him some of the stuffed pepper my cousin made for me. I will, of course, chop up the stuffed pepper so that Mr. AOW takes small, safe bites. I also have a small box of Dove Dark Chocolates, a gift from one of my dear friends in Tennessee. I'm sure that I'll have to ration the chocolate.

Update on October 17 @ 4:05 PM:
Yesterday, very early in the morning, I took Cameo in to visit Mr. AOW. At first, she was wary, but in just a few minutes, she settled down and began purring. This evening, I'll try to capture Mysti and take her in for a visit. Dusti is the paranoid type, but I'll probably take her in for a visit as well.

Mr. AOW had occupational therapy yesterday. The occupational therapist, a woman from India, is a slave driver! Good! Both Mr. AOW and I appreciate her dedication to helping him learn the necessary compensations.

After yesterday's occupational therapy, Mr. AOW and I went to the "social." All but two at the "social" were over eighty years old. Consequently, Mr. AOW won all the contests, one of which was "Name as many models of cars as you can." One of the puzzles handed out involved comparing two side-by-side drawings to find the differences; this activity crosses the brain's midline and was the kind of learning therapy I'll be doing with Mr. AOW.

After the "social," which Mr. AOW greatly enjoyed in spite of the age discrepancy, two of our neighbors visited and brought homemade vegetable beef soup. Mr. AOW chose to eat the soup instead of what was served by the nursing home. I have plenty of leftover soup to give him today and tomorrow.

After dinner, Mr. AOW insisted on being wheeled outside. The cold weather, unseasonable for this time of year, sent us right back inside.

On the negative side, Mr. AOW is having trouble staying in the wheelchair because the table he needs on which to rest his left arm is unsteady and falls off. Once yesterday, Mr. AOW slid all the way out of the wheelchair. Four people were required to lift him into the bed! I'll be contacting the administrator if this wheelchair deficit isn't straightened out by the therapists by Tuesday evening.

Update on October 21 @ 8:45 PM:
I've been spending several hours a day with Mr. AOW or out and about tending to getting things ready for him to come home. We don't have a release date yet.

My friend who does tactile sequencing spent nearly three hours working with Mr. AOW today. She noticed that sensation is improving. While she was working with him, I went to For Eyes to pick up Mr. AOW's prescription eyeglasses (one pair for distance, one pair for reading); he had broken his previous pairs. The doctors said that the eyeglasses wouldn't make any difference. Ah, but they do! Mr. AOW can now see well enough to read the written page and the TV channel logos!

Those eyeglasses are a mixed blessing, however. Mr. AOW can now see well enough to dial the phone with some accuracy.

Mr. AOW's attitude is good (some due to anosognosia), and he continues to make progress with all his therapies.

The following video explains a bit about anosognosia, quite common in cases of left neglect:


Read more about left neglect HERE.

Update on October 23 @ 3:35 PM:
Today the physical therapist braced Mr. AOW's left leg. Mr. AOW was able to stand with little support for several seconds! Afterwards, he was exhausted. Even so, I kept him sitting in the wheelchair for a few hours so as to extend his endurance.

The weather was nice outside, so we spent some private time outside the building. The fall foliage is quite lovely right now, and Mr. AOW appreciated being able to see that beauty before the weekend rains arrive. Being outside also helps him to become more oriented as to his geographical location.

On the negative side, Mr. AOW is losing too much weight. I need to supplement the facility's meals with food from home. He tires easily when he's eating, so I do feed him some of the time so that he gets enough nutrition, particularly protein. A kind friend dropped off some chicken noodle soup on Wednesday evening. Mr. AOW loves chicken noodle soup! I'll be taking some to him this evening to supplement the facility's dinner.

Update on October 28 @ 6:15 AM:
Today is Mr. AOW's 60th birthday. If at all possible, I'll take him out in the car so that we can meet with friends from the VFW. Mr. AOW knows that we might go out for a while, but he has no idea that a surprise party is planned. If he's unable to go out and about (big rainstorm here), his friends will bring the party to him.

Mr. AOW is taking a lot of interest in and attending the various activities at the nursing home. They offer movies, crafts, bingo, word puzzles, etc. Every day has three activities! On Friday, there will be a costume party; Mr. AOW will wear his Santa suit.

His appetite yesterday was very good. I also supplemented with a serving of a casserole my neighbor made and Boost protein drink.

Mr. AOW is making good progress with his various therapies at the nursing home. The affected leg does support weight! Unfortunately, the affected arm and hand remain useless; this may be the permanent paralysis the doctor warned us about from the beginning. In fact, the stroke began with the loss of use of the left hand. The anosognosia is a blessing in that Mr. AOW is not depressed or discouraged.

Update on November 3 @ 5:30 AM:
Yesterday, the nursing home projected that Mr. AOW will be released in 2-3 weeks, sooner if the health-insurance company cuts off the payments to the nursing home. I'm busy now scrambling for home medical equipment, including a hospital bed, a high-backed wheelchair (trunk support needed at this poinst), and other items. Mostly, I'm given lists of providers and have to do all the navigation of the maze on my own. In addition, along with a crew coming to build a wheelchair ramp, this weekend I have am trying to schedule a group to come into the house and move furniture upstairs and into the piano room so as to make space in the living room for the hospital bed and the behemoth of a wheelchair. I can see how this coming weekend will be spent. **sigh**

Mr. AOW was in a brighter mood yesterday. As usual, he participated in all opportunities for therapy, and he even went to a couple of the crafts activities although he got ticked off that he couldn't keep the products: deviled eggs and cookies.

This evening, Mr. AOW and I will board a handicapped taxi and venture out to the voting booth. He could have voted via absentee ballot except that I missed by one day the deadline for getting the ballot. **sigh again**

Update on November 8 @ 6:54 AM:
Please go to this new thread for recent information about Mr. AOW.

Turn the page ....

Update On Mr. AOW (updated intermittently)

Previous posts about Mr. AOW's stroke are here and here.

Recent information below the fold. Click "Turn the page."


October 6: Arriving around 7:30 AM and leaving around 7:30 PM, I spent all day yesterday at the rehab hospital with Mr. AOW. I had the opportunity to confer with both his doctors and all three of the therapists (physical, occupational, speech) and observed all the therapy sessions.

In a some situations, I gave the therapists some hints as to how better to work with Mr. AOW. For example, the occupational therapist didn't want to challenge him enough with a poster she uses to have patients identify common objects; she thought he was too tired and incapable of the task. I held up the poster and asked Mr. AOW what the pictures represented, and he got all but one correct. I also indicated to the therapists a better way for Mr. AOW to work with the mirrors so that Mr. AOW would cooperate better.

I was very proactive with all the medical personnel I met. I think they were happy to see me leave!

Before lunch and after lunch, I took Mr. AOW outside the center to the "garden" so that he could sit in the sun and, as Mr. AOW said, "touch something besides bed sheets."

Now for some medical information....Mr. AOW had a large hemorrhagic stroke on the right side of the thalamic region. Read a little about the thalamus HERE and detailed medical information HERE (Type in "thalamic stroke" with the quotes in the search box in the upper left corner, and read the article entitled "Thalamic Hemorrhage"). A detailed diagram and more explanation are HERE.

According to Wiki (not cited above):

The thalamus (from Greek θάλαμος = room, chamber, IPA= /ˈθæləməs/) is a midline paired symmetrical structure within the brain of vertebrate animals, including humans. It is between the cerebral cortex and the midbrain, both in terms of its location and its neurological connections. Its function includes relaying sensation, special sense and motor signals to the cerebral cortex, along with the regulation of consciousness, sleep and alertness. The thalamus surrounds the third ventricle.

[...]

The thalamus is known to have multiple functions. Deduced from the layout of the isothalamus, it is generally believed to act as a translator for which various "prethalamic" inputs are processed into a form readable by the cerebral cortex. The thalamus is believed to both process and relay sensory information selectively to various parts of the cerebral cortex, as one thalamic point may reach one or several regions in the cortex.

[...]

Many different functions are linked to various regions of the thalamus. This is the case for many of the sensory systems (except for the olfactory system), such as the auditory, somatic, visceral, gustatory and visual systems where localized lesions provoke specific sensory deficits. A major role of the thalamus is devoted to "motor" systems....

We don't yet know the extent of any permanent damage. Typically, hemorrhagic strokes result in less permanent damage than blockage strokes.

At this point, Mr. AOW has left side paralysis and left neglect, the latter meaning that he doesn't know that he has a left arm. As of last night when I left, he was getting "reacquainted" with his left arm. Balance is an issue with left neglect. Another issue: he's unable to turn his eyes upward; however, the first several days after the stroke, he couldn't open his eyes at all or bring them both center, so some progress is evident. The nystagmus has nearly resolved.

Complicating Mr. AOW's recovery is the brain surgery Mr. AOW had in 1993 for acoustic neuroma, left side; the nerves on the left side of his face and mouth have been compromised every since that surgery. Furthermore, he has no left-side vestibular nerve, complicating even more Mr. AOW's trouble with body balance and correct head position.

When Mr. AOW is released from the rehab center, he will require around-the-clock supervision. Therefore, he'll be released to a skilled nursing facility. The insurance policy will allow for 60 days in that kind of facility.

October 7 @ 7:36 AM:
This morning, Mr. AOW had the nurse call me twice so that he could speak to me. He also called once on his own.
He's having a pity party right now and called to say, "Goodbye." Years ago, my grandmother after a series of strokes said similar things.
Anyway, here's another roller-coaster ride.

October 10 @ 11:40 AM:
Mr. AOW is making significant progress: fewer mood swings, some trunk-muscles activity, a bit of movement in the left leg. His vision has improved somewhat, but still leaves much to be desired. He does get disoriented; for example, on Wednesday, he said, "I feel like I'm in California." Yesterday, he felt as if he were in one of the outbuildings on our property.
Mr. loves to visit the garden area at the hospital. I am encouraging all visitors to take him outside when the weather is nice.
The left arm and hand remain useless. As he is left-handed, the left neglect is a serious issue. To sign the application for Social Security Disability yesterday, Mr. AOW could merely "make his mark" with his right hand and have witnesses certify.
According to the doctors, nurses, and therapists, Mr. AOW is making excellent progress, particularly with regard to speech and swallowing. Clearly, however, he is not yet able to come home and will not be able to do so for some time.

October 12 @ 9:20 AM:
Mr. AOW complained yesterday of pain in his left leg. Read about pain after a thalamic stroke HERE. The information is stomach churning! I myself suffer from nerve pain ever since the car accident I had in 2005, so I know how debilitating such pain is.
I plan to ask the care team today as to how they plan to manage this new development with Mr. AOW and will update this post later today or early tomorrow morning.

Note to friends and family: Additional updates on Mr. AOW will be added to this post.

Turn the page ....

Pressed For Time

Note added on October 6: Updates on Mr. AOW are now being added to this post.

As regular readers here already know, my husband Mr. AOW had a hemorrhagic stroke on September 15. See this previous post.

Recent information, including updates, below the fold. Click "Turn the page."

I want to thank The Merry Widow for posting the announcement on September 15. I also want to thank all the supportive commenters for their concern and their encouragement. Nearly a week after the event, I've finally had time to read each and every comment.

I am not putting this blog on official hiatus. Of course, I may have to do so at some point. But not yet! This blog is one of my support systems!

For now, I will occasionally post Twitter updates. See the top of the right sidebar.

The last update to the previous post about Mr. AOW's medical condition was on September 20 @ 10:20 PM.

TMW or I will update this post after I speak to Mr. AOW's night nurse and at least once a day for an indefinite period. Mr. AOW's recovery will be a long haul, and I simply won't usually have enough time to blog as usual.

Update from AOW (September 21 @ 5:30 AM):
Mr. AOW doesn't sleep much at night. Instead, he sleeps all day. In other words, he has his days and nights turned around.
He remains in ICU but very alert. In fact, he now wants the nurse to phone me at all hours so that he can talk to me. Two things concern him at the moment: (1) what I'm doing with his "nest" in the shed, and (2) how much he wants ice and ice water. Right now, he has restrictions as to how much he can receive by mouth, the concern being aspiration into the lungs. His begging is disconcerting for me as meeting his requests is medically unwise.
Mr. AOW's blood pressure is finally stabilizing. Once stabilization occurs, he'll be moved to a regular room. The sooner he begins physical therapy and occupational therapy, the better!


Update from AOW (September 22 @ 6:28 AM):
Mr. AOW passed his swallowing and memory tests yesterday as he wants milk to drink. He's a big milk-drinker. He got milk and a pureed meal yesterday.
I was present for the memory test. In some ways, his memory is better than mine right now. LOL. In fact, the other day I asked him for the combination to the safe because I cannot ever remember those numbers in order. He knew the combination!
Once the medical team can get him off the pain medications for his headache, Mr. AOW should be able to stay awake better and longer so that he can begin some physical therapy and occupational therapy.
He remains in ICU and will remain there until his blood pressure in consistently where the docs want that upper number to be. The bottom number is fine.
Mr. AOW is on antibiotics, and his temperature is normal or nearly so. Overnight, the lab ran a urine culture because of the cloudiness of output. The fever of a few days ago is likely due to a urinary tract infection.
Overnight he got some sleep. Finally some sleep at night! Mr. AOW didn't sleep all night, however, and gave the nurse a rough time about the nasogastric feeding tube. He was also somewhat agitated, to the point that the nurse sedated him. Despite the agitation, he was oriented.
I learned last night that Mr. AOW repeatedly told one of the family members who saw him on Sunday afternoon that his left arm is "useless, useless, useless." Several times he picked up his paralyzed left arm with his right hand and dropped the arm over and over again, repeating "Useless!" He hasn't made any such complaint to me.
His case worker consulted with me yesterday. We went over several things: what kind of medical hardware we have at home, the layout of the house here, various health-insurance matters (private catastrophic policy went into effect on June 1), an outline of the course of recovery (residential rehab when he's ready to move to another facility if the health plan covers such a program and home care), household income, the possibility of Social Security disability, household income, and my work schedule. The case worker and others at the hospital take care of a lot of paperwork, thus relieving me of that chore!


Update from AOW (September 23 @ 6:14 AM):
Mr. AOW's blood pressure has come down, and he's now off the drip which keeps him in intensive care. If he can maintain this lower pressure - I don't know for how long - he'll be transferred to a regular room. He remains on a nasogastric feeding tube to facilitate giving medications by mouth.
Unfortunately, when I visited last night, Mr. AOW was irate about "how awful this place is." He even demanded to call an attorney to get him released. Mr. AOW was very angry with me last night because, in his words, "You are keeping me here." He said, "I want my wallet and a key to the shed. I want to go anywhere else but here." The shed has a couple of walkers in it (Mr. AOW the Packrat), so the request for the shed key actually makes sense. But, of course, he doesn't realize that he's incapable of using a walker as the left arm and left leg remain completely paralyzed.
I got Mr. AOW calmed down after a few minutes of reasoning from me, and he dozed off. He had a less hostile overnight than the night before - no Haldol required.
On the very positive side, the paralysis involving the mouth is much improved. In fact, his mouth looks nearly normal now, and his speech is not slurred much. Also, his eyes aren't rolling and turning downward nearly as much now.
Mr. AOW could be transferred to a regular room as early as today. Once he gets access to a telephone, no telling whom he'll call!

UPDATE(Sept. 23, 1:10 pm)
Just got a call from, AOW, Mr. AOW had 2 sessions with the physical therapist this morning, he fell asleep after both. But he also slept through the night.
His left arm was swollen from the sodium drip(to keep his brain from swelling so much), he has been getting massages to reduce the swelling. It's working.
His ire seems to have cooled...he MAY have thought that he was in a more permanent institution...he could use prayer to reduce his feeling of abandonment.

Update from AOW (September 24 @ 6:35 AM):
Mr. AOW wasn't angry when I visited him yesterday. I was at the hospital for hours yesterday because I had to wait a long time for him to wake up. When he finally did wake up, he made perfect sense. He stayed awake for about 45 minutes, then dozed back off.
He's been off the IV drip for blood pressure for nearly 24 hours, but his blood pressure overnight varied too much for immediate transfer to intermediate care.
The other problem yesterday: Mr. AOW's glucose was way up, at one point to 360. He is now on an insulin drip, and glucose levels are improved.
Once his blood pressure stabilizes, Mr. AOW will be transferred to intermediate care.
I spoke by phone with Mr. AOW a few minutes ago. He was too sleepy to make much sense, however. Mostly, I got snoring from the other end of the line.

UPDATE (Sept. 25, 7:25 am);
Mr. AOW is making more forward progress, his left leg has moved twice, he is starting to crack jokes instead of getting angry, he remembered what he was doing when he had the stroke AND has started noticing how wiped out AOW is. He is starting to get outside his own head.
He needs his teeth for speech therapy, but his blood pressure still creeps up at night, it needs to stay under 150, before he can be moved. Also, since he cannot have solid food yet, his glucose levels sky rocket. He also asked the nurse what time it was last night and decided it was too late to call AOW. He is going nuts without someone to talk to.
So, there are some prayer needs right there.

UPDATE(9-25, 2:36 pm)
More good news. AOW was present at Mr. AOW's PT, this morning. His stroke was in the sensory area of the brain, so his memory is intact. He still cannot feel his left hand or foot, but if he looks at his quadricep, he can move it. His eyes are centering more(focusing issue), he is cracking jokes with the nurses and PT people.
He now has an irregular heartbeat, unknown cause, but it has occurred since he's been hospitalized.
The doctor told AOW not to get rid of the SUV...hmmmmm?!?!
The PT folks say he will probably be in live in rehab for up to 6 months, but as long as he makes progress, they won't toss him out.
He did want to go to work at the VFW tonight(his regular shift)...I don't think so! LOL!
The ministry has started to step up to speed, now that the needs are more clearly known...AOW now has more saucepans than she knows what to do with. She is also working on a home made chicken pot pie...so she is eating better herself.

HALLELUJAH!
Mr. AOW's bp went down to 140/71, and he has been moved to an Intermediate Care Unit! He is in with 3 other men and 2 nurses...he can have cards, balloons, whatever. Anyone can go visit him and he is getting thickened foods. He does have a problem with silent aspirations, that is where he doesn't cough if something, "goes down the wrong chute".

Update from AOW (September 26 @ 7:30 AM):
I had to go back to the hospital for the third time last night (only two trips had been planned) as Mr. AOW got confused. He knew that he was confused, however. He wanted a couple of dollars, his little book of phone numbers (Yikes!), and some reassurance that I hadn't abandoned him. They do keep moving him around while he's dozing, so the confusion clearly isn't dementia of any sort. He remains oriented as to time and space and all other essential neurological signs. His speech continues to improve as the paralysis around the mouth is gradually resolving.
His vision is not clear as his eye muscles aren't working properly. This trouble with his vision is part of the cause of his confusion.
He nearly got out of bed on his own this morning! The nurses cannot allow him to be up and about, of course.
Mr. AOW will have more PT today. Let's hope that he cooperates.
I'll be at the hospital for much of the day but won't get there in time to observe today's PT as I want to get my flu shot at today's flu clinic at the hospital. I have some 21 essays by students to grade and will tote those essays and the corresponding grade sheets with me. Whenever I get home today, I still have some chicken pot pie to eat. I'm so grateful for the food drop-offs. I don't have time to cook anything but my own breakfast right now.

Update from AOW (September 26 @ 9:33 PM):
Mr. AOW missed his PT today as he was sedated so as to calm down his anger and relieve his headache.
That said, everything else today was good! He had several visitors from the VFW, and their presence and cards really cheered him up. A guy thing, no doubt.
Tonight, Mr. AOW ate at least half of his pureed dinner of beef, mashed potatoes, and corn. All those particular foods are among his favorites.
I will also say that this evening is the best I've seen Mr. AOW since he had the stroke on September 15. Of course, there is no way of knowing whether he'll have as good a day tomorrow. If he can have several good days in a row, he will have turned a corner!

Update from AOW (September 27 @ 7:40 AM):
Mr. AOW had a good night in that he slept straight through and showed no signs of agitation. His blood pressure went up to the 190's for the top number, but only briefly while the nurse waited for him to respond to the medication administered. His last pressure was 144/82.
He is resting comfortably and snoozing, so I won't go over to the hospital till later today.
Updates to this post will not be as frequent now that Mr. AOW is relatively stable.

Update from AOW (September 27 @ 8:13 PM):
Mr. AOW has some appetite now, but unfortunately, both lunch and dinner today involved foods he prefers not to eat. The docs are concerned that he's not getting enough caloric intake.
He did show interest today in watching television as football games were on. Using his eye muscles has obviously improved, and he is able now to distinguish fantasy from reality on a more consistent basis.
My cousin "L" and I spent two hours with Mr. AOW today, from 11:00 AM and 1:00 PM and fed him his lunch. Decent appetite, but he did complain of the taste of hospital food. His thought processes were fine during the visit, and he's actually quite chatty until he tires. Sense of humor is intact. And he's finally stopped saying, "I know, but...."
Some excellent medical news today! The blood from the brain hemorrhage is resorbing a bit earlier than expected last week! One area of the yesterday's CT scan showed that what the docs originally thought was blood is actually edema, believed more manageable. The specialist today was quite hopeful about Mr. AOW's rehabilitation and told Mr. AOW to quit referring to his left arm as "my dead arm."
So far, I haven't had to make a second trip to the hospital today.
Tomorrow I'll be going to the hospital early to confer with Mr. AOW's case-management team. The team meets at 9:30 AM. I may spend most of tomorrow at the hospital as I work a full day on Tuesday.

Update from AOW (September 29 @ 6:15 AM):
Mr. AOW continues to improve bit by bit.
The hospital is now consulting with me as to which residential acute physical rehab facility he should be discharged to when his medical condition stabilizes and he meets certain benchmarks, including being able to stay awake longer. He tires very easily: a mere 30 minutes of PT exhausts him. His appetite is excellent now, but he has some trouble feeding himself because his left arm remains paralyzed. Mr. AOW is left-handed.
Mr. AOW understands that he won't be coming home as soon as he would like. Either of the two possible acute physical rehab facilities will allow pets to visit outside in a "garden."

UPDATE(9-29) from TMW;
EGADS!
AOW thought that Mr. AOW wouldn't be moved to a residential rehab facility until next week...uh...they are moving him tomorrow!
Are they moving him to the one 10 minutes from home?
Uh...no.
He is going to the one an hour away, when the traffic to get there is a nightmare!
Poor, AOW! Her gasoline bill is going to be rather overwhelming!

Update from AOW (September 29 @ 8:50 PM):
A MIRACLE!
He's baaaack! Hard to believe that the man I saw tonight is the same man I saw yesterday!
When I went in to visit Mr. AOW tonight, he was watching television, had his reading glasses on, and was perusing a magazine. His vision isn't very good, but the eye muscles are bringing his eyeballs closer to center now. His speech is much clearer too.
The wonderful difference in 30 hours is astounding!
Please keep praying, especially that he can recover sufficient use of his left arm and left leg.
I'll learn more tomorrow. The standard for this type of residential physical rehab is two weeks, then conversion to outpatient rehab.
I'll be busy over the new few days. I need to get him some items such as shoes with velcro fasteners. I also need to do some laundry for him, then pack his bag to take to the rehab center on Saturday.

Update from AOW (October 1 @ 5:50 AM):
Yesterday Mr. AOW was transferred to another hospital for physical rehab.
The move disoriented him somewhat. The disorientation is primarily one of personality, and he has frustration and anger issues.
At this time and even though I spent all evening with him at the center, Mr. AOW sure that he's not getting enough attention from the nurses. In his own mind, he's certain that he needs to be "somewhere else." This issue, his imagination, had resolved before the transfer but has reappeared.
Also, this time Mr. AOW thinks he's "on a train that keeps moving." Whatever that means!
Today the specialists at the rehab center will do their own evaluation Mr. AOW's condition. I will try to phone his rehab-center case manager this afternoon.


Update from AOW (October 1 @ 5:00 PM):
Mr. AOW began therapy sessions today! He is much more content now that he has something to do and to work toward.
According to his nurse this evening, he is cooperating fully. Mr. AOW is also okay that I'm not visiting tonight but will see him on Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. In fact, I will spend the entire day there on Monday so as to confer face to face with the appropriate hospital personnel.
Unless I have reason to, I will not be updating these posts as frequently as before.

Update from AOW (October 3 @ 6:50 PM):
I saw Mr. AOW last night. He was exhausted from the three sessions of physical therapy yesterday.
Usually on Saturdays, therapy isn't done. The unit made an exception for Mr. AOW today, however, and he had three sessions. The nurses see improvement!
I didn't go over tonight because Mr. AOW is always exhausted at the end of a day of three sessions of therapy. I will go early tomorrow; there is no therapy on Sundays, family day. I have a heart-shaped "I love you" balloon to take in.

Note added on October 6: Updates on Mr. AOW are now being added to this post.

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